Same old song and dance

Seems everytime I go to write something lately it is just me bitching and complaining about life. Well this one won't be any different. I talked to Matty yesterday finally and he wants me to still come live in Dothan with him but there are some factors standing in the way. #1 is that his contractor has been sitting on his ass for 2 months and done nothing so no one knows when the house will be finished, or even started. #2 is that I don't have a job waiting one me. It doesn't look like there will be anything open with Matty's company so that is out of it, so short of just relocating and then hoping for the best, I'm jobless. I shouldn't be surprised by any of this since anytime I make any sort of plans or have any asperiations or dreams for the future they fall apart. These things have been hitting me hard lately. I have done nothing with my life and it doesn't look like it's gonna be any better in the future. I'll be 25 in a little over a month and I have nothing to show for it. One huge fucking failure. I have nothing but debt to call my own, a so far useless degree, a shitty job, and I'm alone. And you know it's the last one that hurts the worst. I can deal with the other stuff, it bothers me but usually just enough to make me complain and bang my head against the wall in frustration, but the being alone is killing me. To love and to be loved. Would it make everything better? Who can say? Would it make it easier to deal with the day to day crude? Hell yeah it would. But I'm not the kind of guy that can go up and start a conversation with someone I don't know, so that makes finding a woman hard to do since I've run out of options with the ones I know. With being out of school I don't have that many oppurtunities to meet new people, and with all of my friends finally graduating and moving off my other way of meeting people will be gone. Guess I'm destined to go it alone. I'm hopeless it seems. It doesn't help that I can't seem to completely let go of the past. I guess that's cause I was happy then and so miserable now. Doesn't help that I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. But anyway, I just needed to get these things off my chest. Since I don't really have anyone to talk to about stuff like this anymore since they are so busy, and well it applies to them as well too, I guess this is as good as place as any to vent. It's not like anyone reads this anymore. Not that anyone ever cared.